A Quick Rant About Cancer

CANCER SUCKS! Literally, it sucks the life out of good people who do good for others. The many thoughts and emotions make it difficult to put into a single blog all that encompasses the extent of the uncertainty, the waiting, hurt, pain, anger, heartache, hope, faith, compassion, grace, mercy and love constantly in motion around a cancer victim, family, friends, healthcare providers and community.

Over the past few years, the list of those, in my personal life, with cancer gets longer. I'm sure you have a similar list and most likely even longer.

• Wife is a 4+ year survivor;
• Mother-in-Law just passed away from an aggressive cancer;
• 2 cousin-in-laws are survivors;
• Several cousins are survivors and a few deaths (big family);
• 2 uncle-in-laws passed away due to cancer;
• A few close friends are survivors and others have died;
• Numerous friends, business associates, extended family and friends of friends have similar experiences; and,
• The list gets longer by the day with the emails and calls to ask for prayers.

That's Life

It is easy to say, "That's life," and go on about one's day. We all know the death card has already been dealt. It's just a matter of time before it gets played. It's easy to remain above the fray and differentiate one's self from the process. There is the thought and hope this too shall pass. Sure, the game ends for one, but another game begins for someone else.

That's life and death, but who will you be in the midst of the game? Are you a fan, the announcer, facility staff, team, support staff, coach or star player? I've been all but the star player - thank you, God. 

Made Me A Better Man

Early in life, I stayed above the fray. With age and being active in meeting lots of people, illness and death on a chart begins to look like a hockey stick based upon number of people to years.

As this insidious cancer crept ever closer into the lives of close friends, family, then my wife and now Mother-in-Law; I chose to hurl myself into the game in ways I never imagined. 

The hurt, pain, tears and love are like waves approaching the shore. The waves never stop - some are ripples and others are tsunamis. I call these emowaves. Some wash over you from a brief memory and others roll you over and over like a tsunami. Bottom line - like the hockey stick - the people I know with cancer and have died because of cancer have made me a better man.

Not because of the cancer, but truly experiencing the light they are in the world and to those they care for and love. May I continually strive to put into words the greatness of those I have had the opportunity to know. This Mandela quote provides a bit of insight into the life lived by my Mother-in-law.

"As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously

give other people permission to do the same." 

                                          ~Nelson Mandela

Dedicated to JoJo, who lived life big and love for all, 

~ Alan Goldsberry, Author and CEO of ZFactor Group Publishing

Research Confirms Boomers Will Be Rolled Into Their Graves

Research Confirms Boomers Are Successful At Being All Used Up

What kind of shape are you in?

A Gen Y'r +Jason Dorsey, I have met and think he is an amazingly smart and ambitious young man - and quite accomplished for his age - recently posted a +The New York Times article on LinkedIn questioning if Boomers are out of shape (article). Very appropriate for Jason to post an article like this as his business is helping corporations learn how to communicate cross-generational.

As I read the article, many thoughts rattled around. Such as, "I've stayed in decent shape by way of a little yoga and +P90X" to remembering the President's Fitness Council and the incredibly boring exercises we were forced to do in gym class to this whole fitness thing only started because a study in the 1950s said European youth were in better shape than American youth. Well, I guess the Boomers took care of that concern. Go USA!

Actually, what compelled me to post this blog is a quote from the article. 

"Boomers were more likely to use devices to assist them with walking, for example, or to have physical problems that limited their work."

As I read the quote, it's clear the researchers view this as a negative, but being a Boomer and knowing all the Boomers I know, I believe we would view this as positive because it confirms a popular Boomer motto:

"I want to have lived a big, full, rich life such that I'm all used up when they roll me into my grave." Or, as Cindy (my wife) says, "I want to come sliding into Heaven, torn and tattered yelling YEE-HAA."

It is important to note the article did not say Boomers were not walking. They are just being assisted in their walking with devices. And, it did not say Boomers have stopped working. They are only limited in their work. Sounds like Boomers are still getting the job done, no matter what gets in their way.

The research points to the fact Boomers are living longer, which means we have more opportunity to get all used up. I view that as another positive outcome of the research. Nice to know even in our 60s, we still have another 30+ years to get all used up.

It's nice to be confirmed by valid research that Boomers are accomplishing their lifetime objective to "Just roll me in my grave when I die."

Keep on walking and working Boomers. It's in our DNA to keep on trucking through the fog...

~ Alan Goldsberry, Author and CEO of ZFactor Group Publishing

ZFactor blog explores and discusses a variety of techniques, tools and discoveries by successful people that will assist others to achieve greater personal and professional success. ZFactor is a proprietary coaching methodology based upon the premise that successful people think and act differently. The ZFactor methodology is proven to accelerate a person's ability to think and act differently.

I Say Merry Christmas, What Do You Say?

My amazing wife, Cindy, declared last week, she wants to be more engaging with people relative to the upcoming holiday season. Rather than just say, "Happy Holidays" she wants to be more engaging with people and get to know them better than just responding, "Happy Holidays to You."

You have to know Cindy to understand the way she thinks about other people. First, she really cares about other people and she has a quality about herself that when others are around her, they just love Cindy.

Cindy says to me, "Instead of waiting for others to say, Happy Holidays, I'm going to say - I say +Merry Christmas, what do you say?" Her reasoning is pretty simple. She wants others to know she values being a Christian and does not want to water down her belief because of some political correctness. And, most importantly she wants others to feel comfortable in expressing their personal values, as well. It's about honoring other people and the result is you get to know a little more about them.

With a little thought about this on my part - we live in a vibrant, highly mobile, multi-cultural society. If we truly want world peace for our progeny, we need to be responsible for understanding and getting to know who other people are. If I just say, "Merry Christmas" without offering the option to others to express their belief, I can sound rude and politically incorrect. That behavior does not represent the love of Christ nor does it open the door for any further engaging conversations. If I merely say, "Happy Holidays" that is not expressing who I am. This is obviously the quandary many of us have experienced in these politically correct decades, but then if you know Cindy like I know Cindy, you too will take pause and ponder upon what she says - and, consider what you will say.

So, I tried out Cindy's saying and surprisingly it opened up some interesting discussions that would have never happen if I had blindly said, "Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays." After a couple of times I began to realize that it really is about relationship and honoring the relationships we have with others, especially with those we have just met or know professionally. Yep, I now have to admit to my wife, I'm a little slow and for the first time ever - she has thought of something before me. (and if you believe that, well, I can find the perfect coach for you.)

The responses to me saying, "I say Merry Christmas, what do you say" have typically been a chuckle and then they say, "Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays" and we all go on our merry way. A couple of the responses have been a chuckle and they say, "I'm Jewish and I say Happy Hanukkah." I respond, "Happy Hanukkah." It's about honoring who people are, getting to know them a little better, and since I'm a Christian - being more like Christ.

No matter your background, religion or race, 'tis the season to take a moment and be more loving with others. As I understand it, Jesus was born into a Jewish family and a group of Magi (from Persia - some might say pre-Muslim) came to visit him and present him gifts upon his birth. And, those gifts provided safe passage for Jesus and family to escape the slaughter of the children by King Herod. I'm figuring God has a plan and, in his infinite wisdom, He is giving us time to figure it out.

Be kind and loving to others who think and act differently than you,

~ Alan Goldsberry, Author and CEO of ZFactor Group Publishing

Veterans' Day: A Legacy of Service and Honor

A military cap and Bible were placed on the altar of my church, on Veteran's Day 2012. An honorable gesture to all the men and women who have served in the military of the United States of America. 

It was then noted the cap and Bible were from John Griffith, a long time member of Bethany United Methodist Church in Austin, Texas. It was a way to honor the many years of John's service for organizing the Veterans' Day procession at Bethany. 

I'm in the midst of writing this series of blogs about building a legacy and was struck by the simplicity in expressing the legacy of a man who was living vibrantly into his eighties. Sadly, earlier this year, he was struck down by a car that veered off a street and onto the running trail John was on. He left a wonderful family of children, grandchildren and friends.

The rest of this story continues to live itself out each and every day because of John's family and the impact he made on so many others, like myself. John's legacy stands clear and present by how he lived his life day in and day out. He lived a life of service to others, starting with his family and country, growing into serving his church, schools, community and at work.

John is one of the men who I revere and consider a mentor. Bethany is blessed with many men like John. Men who show the way by how consistently they have lived their lives, how they have expressed their love for others by serving in all the ways they can and as often as they can. Of course there are many women who do the same and more. But, it was John's cap and Bible on the altar.

One of my first experiences with John, he was teaching me how to do the behind the scenes activities at our church's annual family retreat and lead others to help. At the time, I'm in my late forties and while I knew how to do all these things, there was clearly something about John that was different. I knew there was much more for me to learn.

Thus, the significance of John's cap and Bible, for me. The cap a clear expression of his servant-leader's heart and the Bible expressing John's belief in the Word to be the hands and feet of Christ. I can now see just how clearly John demonstrated this all to me in his actions and words as we made coffee, at 5:00 AM, for the approaching hundred or more adults waking up at family camp. John was a man willing to do the small things and was highly capable at leading the big stuff.

John organized Bethany to be a drop-off location for clothing to aid the families of New Orleans after Katrina. This drop-off location was the best organized in the city and became a primary hub for clothing from Austin to New Orleans. I called John late one evening because I had received a call from someone who knew me and wanted to find out the logistics to donate. After John heard the situation, he exclaims, "tell me where they are and I'll drive over right now to pick it up." It was 9:00 PM. At the time, John was in his seventies and tireless. 

I am blessed to know many men like John and each of them has modeled "The Way" for me and to many others I know. I pray the cap and Bible on the altar today, stirred the souls of others to understand the significance of a simple cap and Bible to express the living legacy of one man and the difference he made. Then, in that understanding, may you also feel the stir in your soul to seek and understand the significance of Christ when he knelt to wash the feet of his brothers.

What two items would speak volumes for how you lived, served and loved throughout your life? 

Thank you, John for showing me how to live out my legacy each day. Who knows when we will suddenly run out of time.

John William Griffith

~ Alan Goldsberry, Author and CEO of ZFactor Group Publishing